Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II (2011)

Date and Place of viewing- 15 July 2011; IMAX 3D, Mall of Asia  
IMDB's Rating - 8.7 out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating - 97%
My Rating - 9.5/10 


Prologue:

If you're in the Philippines and you want to watch Harry Potter this weekend, well, good luck to you.  I was trying to reserve tickets via Sureseats.com (Ayala cinemas) since two weeks ago but I couldn't reserve more than two (2) tickets on weekdays and more than one (ticket) on weekend.  You'll have more luck if you're going to get in line but personally, I hate lining up for movie tickets of blockbuster films.  They're a pain and it might take even an hour to get tickets.  Besides, 3/4 of the tickets have been pre-sold, so why take chances lining up for tickets you might not get?  So I tried out reserving for IMAX tickets, and what do you know?  It's sold out for Friday night and the weekends, too!  There are still some seats left but you have to line up for those, and I didn't want that.  So I bought tickets for Friday, 4:30 pm, the only one with reserved tickets left but not by much.  When I got into the theaters, it was packed!  Only a few seats remain (those seats which were non-reservations).

     I have watched all the Harry Potter movies before, but hey, it was during a span of some 10 or 12 years so I couldn't possibly remember everything about the series.  Well, I do admit that I have read the books at least twice or thrice, except for the last book, the Deathly Hallows, which I only read once.  Still, I have no reason to forget about what happened in the first part of Deathly Hallows, right?  Right?!  But I did!  I forgot all about it despite watching it at the cinemas just last November!  OMG!  I am getting old!

     So, I couldn't understand the first few minutes of the movie why Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were being chased and why they ended up at Dumbledore's brother's shack.  But, after I saw Neville Longbottom, the leader of the student's resistance at Hogwarts, I think certain pieces fell into place.  Well, perhaps for most, seeing Neville now would make most girls say, "Whoa!"  I mean, he's become a hottie overnight?!  Like Clive Owen-esque.  Really.  Exhibit A:  See poster below.

     Anyway, I like the darker theme of this installment.  After all, the kids who first watched the series a decade ago have now all grown.  Hogwarts has now become a battlefield, the last frontier, and students and adult witches and wizards alike were able to defend the fort but the school suffered considerable damage, and Harry's final battle with Voldemort was worth a decade's wait.

     There were funny moments, too, but all were overshadowed by looming deaths, including one of my favorite characters.  But we've also seen the rise of a hero, Neville, whose courage (and hotness) never ceased to amaze me all through out the movie.  Let's just say his ultimate spectacular moment was applauded by the moviegoers, unlike Harry's own shining moment.  Exhibit B:  See poster below:

     There's also Snape's untold memories.  I must say with his black eyeshadow and rosy lips, Snape looks kinda off.  Maybe its the IMAX factor.  Lol!

     I really loved this movie.  It's competing with my favorite in the series, Prisoner of Azkaban directed by Alfonso Cuaron (who also directed Children of Men starring Clive Owen).  I mean, you'll definitely get your money's worth if you watch it on IMAX (I forgot to say that I have some issues with resolution, though).  And mind you, the film is really, really good, and it will not make you puke or laugh wickedly due to distaste, which almost happened (the puking) and actually happened (laughing hysterically) to me when I watched a certain vampire movie series (which I refuse to name because it will just make me gag) at the cinemas.  Hey, I was dragged to the theaters to watch those vamp movies not on my own free will, okay?  But I watched all the Potter movies on my own volition. So definitely, this epic Harry Potter final movie triumphs at the box office on its own strengths.

X-Men: First Class (2011)

Date and Place of viewing- 04 May 2011; Glorietta Cinema 3
Country of Origin - USA
IMDB's Rating - 8.3 out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating - 87%
My Rating - 9/10

     I've been religious in watching a movie at the theaters these past few weeks.  After Fast Five, I've watched Thor, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, In My Life (Tagalog movie), and yesterday, X-Men: First Class.  Much as I was active in watching movies, I was so darn lazy making a review of the films I watched.  Oh well.  I am not the queen of procrastination for nothing.

     To tell you honestly, I do not know most of the cast of X-Men: First Class but it did not deter me in enjoying the movie.  There was no 3D for this movie but it really was not needed.  The film itself is quite fun and touching at times.

     I was in high school when the X-Men cartoon series was shown.  I was 13 or 14 years old then.  I religiously watched each and every episode so I am fairly familiar with the characters.  However, the series was set during the time of Cyclops, Jean Grey, Storm, Gambit, Jubilee, Rogue, Beast and Wolverine...you know, the characters in the previous X-Men series.  So, Professor X was already bald by then.  But this new movie focuses on the era when Professor X and Magento were still young (with hair) and had a few young recruits, like Alex Summers, a.k.a. Havoc,  Dr. Hank McCoy a.k.a. Beast, Raven a.k.a. Mystique, among others.  These kids were too young and too impulsive that they were just a bunch of partying-going kids with unique abilities.  However, with the guidance of the extremely rich and intelligent telepath Charles Xavier, he helped the kids, and Erik Lensherr a.k.a. Magneto, unlock their potential and control their powers.

     Yes, Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr were besties back then.  They shared a deep bond and Erik even trusted Charles Xavier.  And they have a common enemy, Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) and his minions in the Hellfire Club, including the very stoic Emma Frost (January Jones).

     And speaking of January Jones, she always gets the "ice queen" roles.  I wonder why?  Hahaha!  I mean, she really looks so cold, that is why.  She played Emma Frost like she played Betty in Mad Men: cold, haughty, very stiff.  An icy bitch.  She's someone easy to loathe: she's extremely beautiful.  Haha!  I don't know if January Jones' presence in the movie makes me imagine Erik Lensherr (Michael Fasserbender) as John Hamm.  I mean, I knew the character of Magneto was not played by John Hamm but every time I look at Magneto, I see John Hamm.  I even think that Erik Lensherr is very Don Drapper.  I mean, he'll say he doesn't want to sleep with Mystique because she's too young, but he still slept with her, and that's very Don Drapper.  Whatever, Michael Fasserbender looks like John Hamm, in this movie at least, and he bought class to the young Magneto's character, and a whole lot of gorgeousness and sexiness, and dammit, I miss John Hamm!  It made me think, why didn't they just sign up John Hamm for the role?  I think it's because he's a lot older.

    Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Romijin had guest appearances.  Everybody laughed. 

     Overall, the movie revolved around Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr's friendship and of course, the latter's grudge against Sebastian Shaw.  The so-called First Class only made a show and full use of their powers later in the movies.  

     I'll give X-Men: First Class a 9; it should have been an 8.5 but I'm giving an extra .5 for Michael Fasserbender.  He gave me the fantasy that John Hamm is Erik Lensherr.

       [ETA:  Oh, shit!  Nicholas Hoult who played Hank McCoy is the kid in About a Boy!  This information made me feel so old!  He's 21 now.]

Thor (2011)

Date and Place of viewing- 12 May 2011; Greenbelt 3
Country of Origin - USA
IMDB's Rating - 7.8 out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating - 79%
My Rating - 8/10

     I remember Thor as a cartoon character: the Mighty Thor.  I've watched re-runs of the cartoons as a child and I vaguely remember the Nordic looks, the blond locks and the hammer, of course.  About the story?  Nothing at all.

     I watched Thor, the movie, last Thursday without any expectations.  I didn't know the actor who played Thor, except for his name, Chris Hemsworth.  But when I caught a glimpse of Thor on screen, he's a cutie; a beefcake.  A total hottie.

     Did muscles and god-like looks make the movie all the more worthwhile?  Yes, indeed!  However, I could not help but think that the movie is made for kids; it's very general patronage.  And the plot, too, is kinda shallow.  Moreover, I was surprised that Jane (Natalie Portman), a scientist, would be portrayed as a  very ditzy gal.  Really.  It was very odd.  You'd never know that she's a scientist unless she tells you so.  Every time she looks at Thor, she seems to want to run experiments on him; lusty experiments about the birds and the bees.  Lol!

     The things that I really liked about the movie are the special effects and the occasional jokes about other Marvel heroes, like Stark (Iron Man).  And of course, the very charming beefcake that is Chris Hemsworth.  He only needs to appear on screen and it'll be enough for me to forget that there's really no compelling story.

     Seriously, though, the special effects are literally out of this world.  Very wicked!  The rainbow-brite bridge is dazzling, especially when horses gallop on it.  Yay!  Color burst!  And Asgard is so surreal.  Whoever thought of how to make that realm come to life on the big screen has a very admirable imagination.  Asgard is sublimely breathtaking.

     And oh, I think I liked Loki, although his evilness is still quite lacking.  I mean, he's kinda vague in being evil.  He's more of a jealous prick who yearns acceptance for who he is, not evil personified.  He's proud, though, and a very sneaky bastard.

     Over-all, it was fun movie.  80% because of the special effects and 20% because of Chris Hemsworth.  Would I want to watch it again, ever?  Not really.  Not even for Thor the Beefcake.

Fast Five (2011)

Photo from the Fast Five movie website.

Date and Place of viewing- 07 May 2011; Greenbelt 3
Country of Origin - USA
IMDB's Rating - 7.8 out of 10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating - 79%
My Rating - 8/10

     I watched the Fast Five last Saturday.  It was surprisingly entertaining.  Really.  The last time I watched the movie franchise was aeons ago, Tokyo Drift.  I could not remember the movie, but I did remember the sound of the cars drifting, and of course, the song, Tokyo Drift by Teriyaki Boyz:

I wonder if you know
How they live in Tokyo
(Hai!)
If you seen it then you mean it
Then you know you have to go

Fast and furious
(Kita)
Tick, tick, tick
Fast and furious
(Kita)
Tick, tick, tick

     This time, though, the movie was way more entertaining.  It's like Ocean's Eleven, only with less planning, more muscle and lots of laughs.  Apparently, the notable characters from movies past were bunched together to do a bank heist that would make Ocean's Eleven look sissy, or something.  That and a lot of car scenes: street chase, street race, train chase, etc.  To tell you the truth, the story is no more believable than the existence of unicorns.  It was so incredulous but so entertaining at the same time.  Who cares if cars can almost out-speed a train?  Or if cars can really jump off, then run off, a speeding train?  Or if two cars can pull a huge vault the size of a room, drag it in the streets of Rio de Janeiro, with no traffic at all?  Or, whether a pregnant woman can jump off houses and buildings, run and down the hilly slums of Rio and do god-knows-what and not hurt the baby?  Or whether the muscles on The Rock are real?  Oh, that last one is true!  Those are some huge muscles, putting Vin Diesel's muscles to shame.  Hmm...

     The movie looks, feels and sounds expensive.  I really hate it when the production skimps on special effects.  Fast Five delivers scenes worth every cent you paid for a 2d movie.  Plus, while I do not know the characters, except for Vin Diesel, The Rock, Paul Walker and Ludacris, the cast are both amazing (too much beauty!) and funny.  And while some did not contribute much, they are either eye candies or for bringing in the comedy, so, not bad.  Not bad at all.  See Gal Gadot and Tego Calderon, respectively.

     Honestly, I was highly entertained by the movie.  Just don't try to rationalize what you're watching, and you'll most likely enjoy it.  You can watch the trailer, HERE.

     

3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy (2011)

Date and Place of viewing- 25 April 2011; Taipei Vieshow Cinema (Xinyi)
Country of Origin - Hong Kong
IMDB's Rating - 5.8 out of 10
My Rating - 6/10

     Animal penises, puny and extremely long human wieners, disabled apprentices, an ageless hermaphrodite, iron lotus, chastity belt, aerial sex scene, seduction of a monk, and more...These are some of the interesting things the movie has to offer: in 3D.

     I went to Taiwan last week, and much to my utter delight, the 3D erotic movie, Sex and Zen, was showing then.  I had a busy schedule to follow during my trip to Taiwan but I managed to catch the screening of the Hong Kong blockbuster a few hours before my flight back home.  So, yay for me!

     If I am not mistaken, 3D Sex and Zen opened in Taiwan on the 15th of April and it was given an R rating.  I thought it was a serious movie, but it turned out to be a comedy!  

     So, the movie is about a scholar/painter during the olden days in China who seeks to pursue the zenith of sexual pleasure while young and alive.  In the beginning of the movie, Yangsheng (the scholar/painter), converses with a monk who has been practicing his belief for more than 50 years, and with whom he tattles about the not-so-good deeds of a certain Prince.  Then, Yangsheng tags along his friend who is supposed to meet a lady, Yuxiang, for an arranged marriage.  But as fate would have it, Yangsheng wins the heart of Yuxiang and they get married. 

      All's well, right?  Well, yes, sort of.  Yuxiang and Yangsheng are in love with each other but Yangsheng has problems keeping his wife sexually satisfied.  Yangsheng tells Yuxiang that he'll get better in time, and winter, spring, summer and fall go by, and still, Yangsheng does not get any better.  In fact, the pretty wife gets bored, to the point of yawning while doing it.

     So, Yangsheng decides to go with his friend, the one who Yuxiang refused to marry, to go to the Prince renowned for his sexual prowess, well, to learn the ropes.  However, instead of learning and practicing the knowledge and skills with his wife, he spends his days at that Prince's lair, a sex den of some sort.  This causes Yuxiang and Yangsheng's inevitable divorce, and a series of sexcapades for Yangsheng, including getting a new penis from a donkey.  Later on, he discovers the Prince's secret agenda and Yangsheng will learn in the process that sex is not the sole determining factor to achieve happiness and love.

     Truth be told, it was my first time to watch a movie like Sex and Zen, and given the comedy plot, I can say that I kinda enjoyed the movie.  It was crude and perverted but amusing.  As for the 3D effects, well, I think it was just a scheme to make viewers want to see it.  I mean, who wouldn't want to see a 3d erotic film?  And apparently, there are a lot of female audience in Hong Kong, and there are even cinemas devoted to an all-female audience.  However, it was not as 3D as I wanted it to be.  And oh, I only saw female genitals  but the male genitals were always covered in some piece of cloth.  We just get the idea how big or small through its shadows and silhouette. But we did see some animal penises in one of the comedic scenes and a computer generated penis of some sort.

     Oh yeah, if you love Japanese porn, you may recognize some of the actors and actresses but of course, I don't know them, except for the info I found after watching the movie.  One thing is for sure, the cast are pretty.

     For its novelty, it is no wonder that this movie is a hit in Hong Kong (slaying the first-day sales of Avatar) and Taiwan.  But for the story, it's quite meh.  However, I didn't regret watching it.  For one, it is an experience worth telling, and for another, it would not be shown here in the Philippines on the big screen so I am now one of the chosen few who had seen it at the cinemas.  Yup, I do have bragging rights now.  Heehee.

      

      And this is NMA's (the Taiwanese company famous for its Sims-like portrayal of current news and events; like Tiger Woods infidelity story) background for the movie - Porn pontoon!

     To those wondering how I understood the film, there were subtitles in Chinese and English which I didn't expect.  I was intent on watching the movie with or without the subs.  Heehee.

Updates: New Acquisitions [3rd Week, March 2011]

     Sometimes, I get lucky, but there are times when I get super lucky!  Guess what?  I snagged an Infernal Affairs and My Boyfriend is Type B dvds for Php 99 each! Yay! Banzai! Yahoo!

     So far, I've watched Postmen in the Mountains (China), Love You 10000 Years (Taiwan) and My Boyfriend is Type B.  Watch out for my observations sometime soon.

     On another note, there are pirated dvds in Ho Chi Minh City, in particular, at Saigon Square for VND 10,000 per movie. Box sets of tv series are available, too.  Didn't buy any.

    

The House of Flying Daggers (2004 - China)

Date of watching - 06 March 2011
Country of Origin - Japan
Rotten Tomatoes' Rating - 88%
IMDB's Rating - 7.6 out of 10
My Rating - 9/10

As much as I love movies with simple, straightforward storytelling, I must admit that I am a fan, too, of action films, especially if there are sword-fights, bows and arrows, machetes, samurais and martial arts.  If there is a love story thrown in the mix, and gorgeous, talented cast, as well as stunning scenery, more so.  Thus, it came no surprise that I was in so much awe after I watched the movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.  I was so enthralled that I kept watching it over and over again.  In fact, I thought then that I would never ever feel the same way about another (similar) movie again.

For years, I tried not to watch any other movies following the wake of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.  I mean, I do not want to be disappointed.  The film is in fact, perfection.  An absolute beauty.  So, when the House of Flying Daggers was shown some four years after Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, I staunchly refused to see the movie even though it stars Zhang Ziyi, who was also in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Andy Lau (Infernal Affairs, Red Cliff) and Takeshi Kaneshiro (Red Cliff).  I didn’t know much about Takeshi Kaneshiro back then, but Andy Lau and Zhang Ziyi?  They’re two of the biggest stars in Asia.  Still, I didn’t want to be disillusioned so I opted not to watch the movie.

Not long after, I’ve forgotten about the House of Flying Daggers until 2 weeks ago when I was searching for a movie to watch.  Even if I just re-watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon recently, I tried to be courageous and I plopped myself in front of my laptop and watched the House of Flying Daggers.  Yup, I watch movies using my laptop.  My eyes are bad and I hate to watch with my glasses on, so I content myself with a 15.4 screen.  Doesn’t make sense, right?

Anyway, I fell in love with the House of Flying Daggers a mere ten minutes from its opening scene.  A couple of minutes more and I remembered why I so wanted to be like Zhang Ziyi.  With the face of an angel, she moves so ever eloquently.  I couldn’t help but recall the time when I watched a documentary about Zhang Ziyi (was it on Discovery or National Geographic?) and her rise to fame.  There were footages of her filming for a Japanese movie, it was for Princess Raccoon, I think, and her dance scene in the House of Flying Daggers, and how she persevered as a student of traditional Chinese dance in Beijing, being the envy of her peers.  I think it was said in the bio that she was not the top dancer in her class, but with her grace and beauty, and strong will (heck, she was practicing in the dark, alone, because she couldn’t practice during normal hours), she won a national competition, and then she became an actress and gained worldwide popularity with Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.  

 The First Encounter of the Cocky, Wild Wind Jin and the Sublime Beauty, Mei.

Anyway, Zhang Ziyi’s performance, not only in dance, but in her action moves as well, is captivating.  She simply owns the screen.  She has never looked so sublime as she did in the House of Flying Daggers.  Playing the part of a rare talented dancer, and a rarer beauty, in Peony Pavilion (a brothel of some sorts), Leo (Andy Lau) and Jin (Takeshi Kaneshiro), plan to capture Mei (Zhang Ziyi), reputedly the blind daughter of the fallen leader of the House of Flying Daggers, a rebel group acting against the government.  Leo and Jin, both police captains, were ordered to arrest Mei.  Jin went undercover as a patron in Peony Pavilion where he met Mei, the blind dancer, and unsuccessfully tried to force himself upon her.  Mei was spared when Leo arrived but the latter ordered her arrest.  To evade arrest, she performed the echo dance.  What is the echo dance?  See for yourself and you’ll find your jaw touching the floor.  You’d think that Mei is a goddess who descended from the heavens to perform a dance for mortals who hounds the forsaken world that is the earth.  The dance, though, didn’t end with a round of applause because Mei attempted to kill Leo, the police captain.  Of course, her treason failed and she was imprisoned. However, undercover Jin rescued Mei from prison and escaped to embark on a journey in hopes of learning the hideout of the rebel group, House of Flying Daggers.  This was in collusion with Leo, who seemed so relentless in telling Jin not to fall in love with Mei. 

 Pretty in Pink

 Flying High

Most of the scenes in the movie were shot in the forest, so all the more reasons for me to love this movie, but there’s still enough action and love story to keep anyone on their toes.  Of course, thrown in the mix is a love triangle and betrayal by almost everyone.  The movie could have been titled, “Trust and Betrayal” like the Rurounin Kenshin movie of the same title.  But I guess, the director wanted to hide the betrayal part because that seems to be the fuel that runs the story.

There were a lot of scenes in the movie where I was so emotionally involved:

Exhibit A: Mei’s savior.  Mei asked who saved her, and Jin answered, how can you forget the man who tried to undress you only yesterday?  And I was like, bwahahahaha! Jin’s the man!  He’s so sincere in his being a brute that even I found him so darn adorable.  I was laughing so hard.

Exhibit B:  Mei’s curiosity.  Mei wanted to know how Jin looks, but instead of touching his face Mei went down on her knees and started touching Jin god-knows-where.  I was like, Mei, you’re a sleazy, horny bitch.  But Jin just allowed himself to be sexually harassed.  Well, turned out that I have a malicious mind because Mei’s searching for Jin’s hands, not his groin.  Lol! 

Exhibit C: The bamboo forest scene.  Remember the bamboo scene between Chow Yun-Fat and Zhang Ziyi in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon?  Yup, it’s reminiscent of that scene, only with lots of enemies climbing up, standing on, and sliding down the bamboos, plus, they’re throwing bamboos like javelins to trap Jin and Mei.  Perhaps Zhang Zimou, the director, wanted to top that Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon bamboo scene by using more warriors displaying their ninja-like skills.  

Exhibit D:  Revelation of Mei and Leo’s relationship.  I was not so much concerned when Jin learned about Mei’s identity, but when the relationship between Mei and Leo was revealed, I shouted, “That bitch!”  I saw how happy Jin was when he was told he’s the chosen suitable husband for Mei and yet this Mei was involved with Leo all along.  But Mei redeemed herself in my eyes not long thereafter.

Exhibit E: The stalemate scene.  When Leo moved to throw the dagger at Jin and Mei did what she threatened to do, and the camera zoomed in on Leo’s empty hand, I shouted, “That bastard!” with such force enough to make my mother think I was going crazy.  Also, I was amazed with Mei: still hanging on to dear life.

Overall, the movie was simply astounding.  The use of colors is so surreal, so effective.  The hues of blue in the Peony Pavilion; and Mei dancing in pink.  Then, there is the seemingly all-green of the bamboo forest and the members of the House of Flying Daggers.  The yellow leaves of the trees in the parting scene between Jin and Mei; and the snow white battleground between Jin and Leo.  All throughout the movie, I was mesmerized by Mei’s beauty as well as the scenery.  And Leo’s fierce, jealous and selfish love for Mei was clearly conveyed by Andy Lau.  As for Jin, well, all he had to do is to appear on screen; a sly smile, a cocky demeanor, a gentle gaze, a soft look, a resolved courage, a pleading look, and a consummation of sadness.  When Mei denied Leo’s advances, Leo asked, I’ve been in love with you for three years, how can you fall in love with Jin in just three days?  And I was like, Leo, who wouldn’t fall in love with Jin?  

 A Play on Colors

Honestly, with a cast so gorgeous and talented, playing the characters so effectively against the backdrop of stunning scenery, and a plot that has been time-tested (trust, betrayal, love triangle), not to mention those standing-ovation-worthy action and battle scenes, everything in the movie works. The movie was so romantic and yet, so violent.  But it could not top Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.  Nonetheless, the movie did not disappoint me in the slightest.  Indeed, this movie is full of win.

 Reunion and Parting

Andy Lau's Excellent Portrayal of Leo

 The Epic Battle Spanning from Autumn to Winter

  ♫ A rare beauty of the north

 She's the finest lady on earth

A glance from her, the whole city goes down

A second glance leaves the nation in ruins ♫